To express an observation means to state what you have seen or heard without adding your own interpretation of what has happened. Is it hard to observe without interpreting? Yes! Is it important to be able to do it? Yes! This is a skill that truly falls under the motto “a minute to learn, a life-time to master.” Observations contribute to increased clarity and alignment, but it’s also a skill that I believe we constantly need to practice and remind ourselves of, because it’s so easy to confuse what we see with what we thinkabout what we see. Therefore, here are some tips and perspectives that will hopefully inspire you!

Be present

Imagine you have proposed a new way of working in your team. When you try the new method, you hear a colleague say, “I don’t think this works,” and you think: “Oh no, the group doesn’t like this.” Wait a moment, what did you actually hear? You heard ONE person say that something isn’t working. The comment doesn’t immediately mean that everyone in the group has the same opinion. Returning to what we actually see and hear can help us to be present in the moment.

Separate the issue from the person (for real)

When we don’t separate the issue from the person, it can have undesirable consequences. Sometimes a subtle blurring of the issue and the person can creep into a conversation, e.g., “my colleague is neglecting their duties.” The word “neglecting” is an interpretation. What one person calls “neglectful behavior,” another might call “prioritizing the most important things first.” We therefore need to be clear about the difference between, on the one hand, the fact that we dislike how the tasks have been handled, and on the other hand, our idea that the colleague is “neglecting” their duties. Only then does the phrase “separate the issue from the person” come into its own.

See multiple scenarios

Imagine that you open your email and see that the reply you were waiting for from a customer has not appeared. If you conclude that the customer is no longer interested, you lock yourself into a single scenario. Instead, linger for a moment with what you observe. If you choose to simply state to yourself that you don’t see the reply in your inbox, you can more easily see several possible scenarios. It could, of course, be a lack of interest from the customer’s side, but it could just as easily be that the customer is in the middle of a hectic period and the reply is therefore delayed.

Compare

Dividing things into “better” and “worse” can have a negative effect on a work group, but comparisons don’t have to automatically be a bad thing. It’s more about how we compare. Reflecting on how one thing differs from another can create clarity! Instead of holding on to the idea that a project is “the best ever” or “the worst ever,” you can, for example, highlight how you see that the project differs from other projects. What observations can you bring forward?

Strengthen the complete picture

In a crisis situation, you may need to collect information from many people involved. Try to listen for what people have heard and seen. More observations from more people can strengthen the overall picture. Remember that memory is good but short. Don’t think that the picture is “true” just because it’s based on many observations. Instead, think that through observations you have a steadier foundation to stand on than if you had only listened to people’s opinions.

Recommend

You are asked to recommend someone for an assignment. Even if your first impulse is to tell them how “outgoing” and “self-starting” the person in question “is,” there may be reasons to avoid direct labels. People perceive labels in very different ways. You have probably often been told that a person “is” a certain way, but then you got a completely different impression of the person when you actually met them. Therefore, try to replace the labels with observations. You can, for example, describe your working relationship or how the person in question has handled their tasks. In this way, you explain what you appreciate about the person while doing so in a concrete way.

Maintain a critical approach

Imagine a person says to you: “It’s not possible to…” How do you react? Now imagine that two people said to you: “It’s not possible to…” How do you react? What if everyone around you said: “It’s not possible to…” What happens when more and more people share the same opinion on a certain issue?

The more a person’s opinion is confirmed by their surroundings, the greater the tendency to start seeing the opinion as “fact.” Then there is a great risk that we make decisions based on a feeling of coercion. For example: “Since it’s not possible, we must now…” This is a downward spiral because coercion often leads us to rebel or give in without truly standing behind the choice. One way to prevent this spiral is to treat opinions as just opinions, nothing more or less. Opinions do not turn into observations just because they are validated by the surroundings.

Instead of pointing out, point out Imagine you are leading a meeting. Again and again, you see a group member trying to take a more active role in the group but not quite managing to get into the discussion. Frustrated by the situation, you might say: “Are you thinking about including everyone in the discussion now?” Even if your intention is to help the group move forward, there is a risk that this statement will split the group into different camps; those who believe they always include everyone, those who believe some in the group don’t include everyone (but who don’t bring this up themselves), those who believe that if someone has something to say, it’s “just say it,” those who hear the statement as a form of blame, etc.

So how can we act as a meeting leader in this situation? Try turning to the group member who is trying to take up more space and say: “I heard you wanted to say something just now…” We can, therefore, try to just point out what we observe. When we express an observation, we show that we see the person while influencing the group dynamic without singling anyone out. In the role of a meeting leader, we sometimes need to express our frustration about things, but don’t let it become a routine, and above all, don’t forget that there is a lot of support to be gained from a simple observation.

Observe without being “objective”

When we express observations, we state what we have seen or heard in a situation without adding our interpretation of the situation. Does that mean we are “objective”?

In every moment, an uncountable number of processes are taking place around us and within ourselves. What our senses can register and what our brains can process varies from situation to situation and from person to person. Based on these conditions, we choose (more or less consciously) which observations we highlight. Additionally, we have a cultural frame of reference that influences where and how we focus our attention. This entire selection process means there is a difference between observing and being “objective.”

But in practice, then? What is the value in drawing a line between observations and “objectivity”? Try this idea: The more a person clarifies that their observations are not about something “objective,” the better the conditions for creating a shared view of reality. For example, experience the difference between these sentences:

“You didn’t say that the meeting time had changed yesterday…” vs. “I didn’t hear you say that the meeting time had changed yesterday…”

In the first sentence, we don’t clarify that we are talking about what we ourselves have seen or heard. When we don’t say, for example, “I heard…” or “I saw…”, our comments can easily be perceived as “facts,” which can create distance in the conversation. For example: “You didn’t say the meeting time had changed yesterday…” “Yes, I did.” “No, you didn’t.” and so on.

In the second sentence, we instead clarify that we are talking about what we ourselves have observed. When we show that we are speaking from our own perspective, we change the conditions of the conversation for the better.

So feel free to replace charged words with neutral words when you express observations, but be wary of ideas that claim your observations are neutral or “objective.”

– Johan Rinman is a team and leadership developer at Add Insight